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Star Wars opening crawl
from 1977

Remake by Tim Pietrusky

A long time ago, in a galaxy far,
far away.... COCK LOL

It is a period of civil war. Rebel cocks, striking from a hidden dick, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Ballsack.

During the battle, Rebel erections managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the DEATH JOHNSON, an armored space weiner with enough power to destroy an entire planet.

Pursued by the Empire's sinister agents, Princess Leia races home aboard her phallus, custodian of the stolen plan that can save her people and restore freedom to the galaxy.... COCKS LOL

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